68. Another example of anti-Mormon accusations of adulterous polyandry can be found at LDSFreedom.org, Polyandry & Joseph Smith, accessed October 12, 2011, http://www.ldsfreedom.org/node/7. Copy in authors possession. Divorce is traumatic: those involved can experience feelings of shock, denial, confusion, depression, and anger, as well as physical symptoms such as disrupted sleep and eating patterns. Jana Riess, My Polygamous Heaven . Well, I replied, perhaps a little too sarcastically, we wouldnt want them to do that., [Page 58]No, she answered. Others believe they were released because they were now a bad example, or because local church leaders didnt want a divorced person in that role. If only married Family Life Copy in possession of the author. (That doesn't mean the policy doesn't exist, but that I've never seen it). The percentage with very unfavorable feelings toward plural marriage was the highest among the possible unfavorable, including possible unfavorable feelings toward the LDS Church. Divorce was more prevalent in the early Church. Brigham Young had a well publicized divorce. More Missionaries should learn more about the history of plural marriage and then mention this in a faithful way before converts baptisms. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. WebFor Latter-day Saint children of divorce, questions like this can add to the sadness and uncertainty that divorce brings. People need all the love and support they can get as they weather a divorce., In a message to divorced members, Dr. Swinton continues, If you have experienced divorce, don't beat yourself up or feel you are lesser in any way. This weapon must be neutralized. Copy in authors possession. Recognizing their interest in history, I decided to arrange a tour of the Beehive House to accompany the usual tour of Temple Square. From that point on, the respondent was okay with it. Even so, 12 other countries were represented, most from European countries.34, Over 47% of survey respondents heard about polygamy as a child while another 39% heard about it as teenagers, for a total of over 86% learning about plural marriage while in their childhood or youth. Throughout his life, Elder Oaks admired his mother's fortitude and ability to raise her children in the gospel. Though faced with overwhelming hardships and challenges, these general authorities gained a stronger testimony of the Savior and the importance of families while overcoming incredibly trying family situations. Bill Frost, Idaho Bans Ogdens Five Wives Vodka, City Weekly, May 29, 2013, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.cityweekly.net/utah/blog-21-7669-idaho-bans-ogdens-five-wives-vodka.html. After leaving the museum, they tentatively, almost apologetically, asked me about how plural marriage started and what it was like. What applepansy said. No, Divorce currently disqualifies a man from becoming a Bishop, Stake President, Seventy, Apostle or Prophet. So if you were born to your parents after they were sealed in the temple (born in the covenant) or were sealed to them in the temple yourself, you are still sealed to themboth of themeven after a divorce. Anyway, to answer the OP: I don't believe any of the quorum of the 12 have gone through a divorce, but the only way i can think that you could confirm it would be to go to the official website of the church, lds.org, and do a search for their biographies, one by one. You'll also like: How to Talk to Children About Temple Covenants After a Divorce. Ultimately, the hope for Saints who struggle emotionally and spiritually with plural marriage is that a better understanding of the history [Page 76]and doctrine of plural marriage will encourage greater faith and bring solace to the soul. Recent Events Highlight Confusion of Polygamy. For the actual presentation, see http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2011-fair-conference/2011-a-reconciliation-of-polygamy. After her death, Elder Oaks's mother was remembered for her civic and Church service. For more on this topic, check outFinding Wholeness and Happiness after Divorce. These and other negative claims against early Mormon polygamy have caused understandable mental and spiritual turmoil for members. I did know one who was released when he and his wife were separated. Increase and Maria Van Dusen published a series of tell all pamphlets about the temple ceremony and polygamy during the 1840s and early 1850s. 25. It was truly amazing to see how sincere and willing to respond these participants werewhich only emphasizes how much we still have to learn about divorce among Latter-day Saints. for Time and for All Eternity in Doctrine and Covenants and Church History: Gospel Doctrine Teachers Manual, accessed February 14, 2014, https://churchofjesuschrist.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-and-Church-history-gospel-doctrine-teachers-manual/lesson-31-sealedfor-time-and-for-all-eternity?lang=eng. An outspoken skeptic of the plurality of wives as an eternal principle is former BYU professor Valerie Hudson. Some members of the LDS Church have expressed shock and puzzlement that early Church leaders such as Joseph Smith and Brigham Young would lie about plural marriages before the public announcement of the doctrine and practice. Not surprisingly, many members have believed these unfortunate and mostly false accusations and stereotyping, in no small part because some historians have repeated and embraced them uncritically.8, Joseph Smiths involvement in so-called polyandrous marriages added to the image of him as a man with unbridled lust. Even while serving his mission, Elder Bednar would end his letters with "Dad, I love you. Of those who had a very unfavorable feeling toward plural marriage at the time of the survey, over three quarters of them learned about polygamy as a child or teenager.38, An intriguing survey finding was that almost 58% were children or teenagers when they learned about Joseph Smith having plural wives. When he was 12 years old, the missionaries began visiting Elder Baxter and his family, bringing a sense of goodness and peace into their home. Find a support network. 54. "We always talk about fathers blessing their children and performing the ordinances, and those are wonderful experiences. Children are most likely to adjust successfully to parental divorce when their mother and father are willing to put the happiness and stability of children ahead of their own hurt feelings. Feelings About Plural Marriage. Over 230 of the respondents were born in Utah or the western United States. It says: "Effective immediately, a man who has been previously sealed and later divorced, who desires to be married and sealed in the temple must first obtain a clearance from the First Presi-den-cy. When Jesus Christ came to earth, He organized His church. Divorce disqualifies a Priesthood holder from even being a Bishop, let alone a General Authority. Unfortunately, over time there have been a number of members of the Church who have been upset and offended about aspects of plural marriage, especially the so-called weird aspects. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, August 7, 2012. 28. Don't let discomfort prevent you from providing support that may be needed. His first thought was, What a dumb idea, why would anyone want more than one woman telling him what to do?36 Another convert who did not learn about plural marriage was a woman who was distressed about the very thought of having [to] share my husband with another. It bothered her enough that she discussed it with other members, and she was told to pray about it. Not all members of the Church have been members since their childhood, and too many new converts have stumbled upon the Churchs history of plural marriage and have been shocked and even angered they were not told of it before their baptism. Copy in authors possession. Your Feelings About Mormon Polygamy.. The historical record, however, clearly demonstrates that Church leaders intended at least a few plural marriages to continue without the Churchs public sanction and encouragement.2 This contributed to the difficulties of the next few decades. To help provide for her family, Elder Oaks's mother went to New York to continue her education while Elder Oaks and his siblings stayed with their grandparents. When marriages suffer from serious problems, separation almost always leads to either reconciliation with the hopes of the marriage surviving or to divorce. They know they are in violation of the law. I should have clarified exactly what my husband meant prior to posting. have any lds apostles been divorced Gordon B. Hinckley, What Are People Asking About Us? Ensign (November 1998): 70. For examples of Mormon polygamy defining western polygamy, see Jessica Ravitz, Sister Wives explained: A fundamentalist Mormon polygamy primer, CNN Belief Blog, October 25, 2010, (accessed February 22, 2014); http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2010/10/25/sister-wives-explained-a-fundamentalist-mormon-polygamy-primer/; Michael E. Price, Are People Naturally Polygamous? Psychology Today, August 18, 2011, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/darwin-eternity/201108/are-people-naturally-polygamous-0 (accessed February 22, 2014); and W.W., Polygamy Now! The Economist, June 28, 2013, (accessed February 22, 2014), http://www.economist.com/blogs/democracyinamerica/2013/06/slippery-slopes. The Church, of course, has no jurisdiction whatever in this matter.26, LDS Apostle M. Russell Ballard stated in a Semiannual General Conference session, Let me state clearly that no polygamist group, including those calling themselves Fundamentalist Mormons or other derivatives of our name, have any affiliation whatsoever with The Church of Jesus Christ [Page 56]of Latter-day Saints.27 LDS Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland was even more outspoken in referencing the fundamentalists, We havent practiced polygamy for over a centuryand its a little frustrating to have these fundamentalist groups resurface.28, Discomfort about the Churchs polygamous past is particularly noticeable in Church-produced literature and at Church-owned historical sites. 22. That means the majority of adult Latter-day Saints both women and men are unmarried, widowed or divorced. apostle Gerrit Gong said Saturday morning. There is gospel wisdom in Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way they should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. This gospel principle certainly includes learning about Church history and doctrine. Indeed, in the minds of [Page 75]many people, 19th-century Mormon polygamy defines western polygamy.69 Accepting that the twain are inseparable does not mean the Church must acquiesce to the negative stereotyping used by its critics. While others shared what kept them going: I wonder if I would have continued going to church if I [didnt] have children. LDS church have 15 apostles if only Some noted that they asked for a break because of the new demands they faced after their divorce. At the 2011 FAIR Conference, Hudson gave a presentation describing plural marriage as an Abrahamic sacrifice, or an exception to Gods law rather than an eternal principle.52 Her conference presentation, titled A Reconciliation of Polygamy, was based on an earlier article of hers titled Polygamy. Hudson claimed that in the eternities we will have the privilege of living under the law, not the exception to the law.53 She further referred to the belief, which she felt was mostly held by male members of the Church, as nothing more than celestial lust.54 In her article, she also made comments regarding modern Latter-day Saint beliefs about the eternal nature of plural marriage: If cultural misinterpretations cause the women and men of the Church to mourn over polygamy, either because they mistakenly believe that God is indifferent between sacrifice and non-sacrifice and so no escape from this sacrifice will be provided by God or because they are led to believe that they are selfish and not [Page 66]righteous if they feel pain at the thought of polygamy, then these cultural interpretations are actively harming our people. 67. Questions & Answers: My parents were married in the temple, but now theyre divorced. In all my life I've never known of a Bishop who had been divorced. Church Policies and Guidelines The children in that marriage joined the lawsuit and allege their stepfather abused them. the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Their third child, a baby girl, passed away at birth and their second child, a two-year-old boy, died six weeks later following a surgery to correct a congenital heart defect. Since the time of the Manifesto, there has been suspicion that Latter-day Saints still practice plural marriage.15 Rumors and stereotyping of secret Mormon polygamous marriages have continued to the present, as news commentators and political pundits alike misconstrue and misrepresent LDS history and doctrine. The idea that plural marriage will be practiced in the celestial kingdom, the highest degree of salvation in Mormon theology, probably elicits more comments and reaction from the women of the LDS Church than any other aspect of plural marriage. For a more detailed discussion of anti-Mormon accusations and stereotyping, see Craig L. Foster, Victorian Pornographic Imagery in Anti-Mormon Literature, Journal of Mormon History 19/1 (Spring 1993): 11532; Old Themes and Stereotypes Never Die: The Unchanging Ways of Anti-Mormons, FAIR, 2003, accessed October 14, 2011, http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2003_Unchanging_Ways_of_Anti-Mormons.html, and Craig L. Foster, Penny Tracts and Polemics: A Critical Analysis of Anti-Mormon Pamphleteering in Great Britain, 18371860 (Salt Lake City: Signature Books, 2003). For examples of accusations of Joseph Smith and pedophilia, see Smith, Nauvoo Polygamy; Mark Webster, Hes a Dangerous Man: God Talk and Sexual Abuse, Beyond Opinion.com: Christian Apologetics Ministry, December 13, 2010, accessed October 14, 2011, http://beyondopinion.com/tag/joseph-smith/; and Sandra Tanner, Joseph Smith as a Sexual Predator, Mormon Coffee: Its Forbidden But its Good, June 21, 2009, accessed October 12, 2011, http://blog.mrm.org/2009/06/joseph-smith-as-a-sexual-predator/. Temples are some of the most beautiful places on earth, but the work that takes place inside of them is what makes them sacred. I need you home to baptize me.". The important thing to remember is that Heavenly Father loves all of you and wants the best for you, both now and in eternity. . 27. 14. Ironically, Mary Elizabeth Rollins, who was mentioned above, was 16 when she married Adam Lightner, and yet critics have not condemned Lightner for marrying a teenager when he was 25. Nevertheless, more should be done since the obvious discomfort and embarrassment of Church representatives is not only fodder for anti-Mormons but also sets a poor example for their fellow members, many of whom are struggling with their own ambivalence about plural marriage. [Page 71]. For an excellent discussion about this pivotal time period, see Gregory L. Smith, Polygamy, Prophets, and Prevarication: Frequently and Rarely Asked Questions about the Initiation, Practice, and Cessation of Plural Marriage in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, FAIR, 2005, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/publications/polygamy-prophets-and-prevarication. From the time of its introduction, plural marriage has been wrapped in controversy. . Is there somewhere i can look this up? Can a man who is divorced and/or remarried be an elder? 12 apostles during Old Testament times I became a pariah. 17. These included the lying about plural marriage, the apparent polyandrous marriages of [Page 61]Joseph Smith, the teenage wives of Joseph Smith, and the idea that plural marriage will be practiced in the celestial kingdom. Ponder what kind of support you have been, are, and can be to those you know in the Church who have experienced or are experiencing a divorce. Craig L. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic: Latter-day Saints and Popular Polygamy Stereotypes, Foundation for Apologetic Information and Research, accessed January 20, 2014, http://www.fairmormon.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/2010-Craig-Foster.pdf. In this collection, a variety of mental health professionals and others present their Latter-day Saint perspectives on divorce and related issues. We are indeed turning a corner finally.57. Eternal plural marriage would be in the future, and, for some Latter-day Saint women, that makes it a very dark future. ok now i am confused can you be one of the twelve apostles if you have been divorced does it matter if you remarried, has there been any of the twelve apostles that have been divorced or could you be one of the twelve apostles if you have been divorced i want to make sure i am not misrepresenting the LDS position. While there were a variety of ways people first learned about plural marriage, about 42% of respondents said they learned from their family.35. There were 400 respondents, with a little over half being male. True, many non-Mormons and even some members nervouslyor insensitivelyjoke about the plethora of plural wives in a suggestive way. Even more disturbing for these members is the possibility that they have been lied to by modern Church leaders.